This is the reverse side of a zillion Eastern Shore buck note designed by me.
This is the face side of an Eastern Shore Zillion Buck note.
Details are blurred on this site to enable posting.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Eastern Shore Bucks
This is the reverse side of a zillion Eastern Shore buck note designed by me.
This is the face side of an Eastern Shore Zillion Buck note.
Details are blurred on this site to enable posting.
Congress Bans Money
Congress Bans Money
Exclusive interview with Congressman Hamlet Hamm
This Reporter (TP)- Congressman Hamm, can you explain why Congress banned money?
Hamm- Yes, having banned oil drilling, coal mining, big business, small business and banks, the congress decided to go to the root of the country’s problems and ban money.
TP- How will the money ban work?
Hamm- Work! It has nothing to do with work. It’s about fairness and personal responsibility.
TP- I mean how will it affect people?
Hamm- Oh, not at all. The dollar was worthless anyway.
TP- I see. How will it affect you personally?
Hamm- No problem. I always gave all my salary to charities.
TP- Charities, Sir?
Hamm- Yes, The Hamm Campaign Fund, The Hamm Retirement Fund, The Hamm Charitable Trust.
TP- How will working people be paid?
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. The federal government will issue every working person a Federal Reserve Entitlement Extension Card, a FREE Card.
TP- What about non-working people?
Hamm- They’ll get FREE Cards, too.
TP- Won’t people lose their incentive to work?
Hamm- Not at all! That’s the beauty of the plan. People will work because they want to, not because they have to. They will be able to pursue their dreams.
TP- Beautiful! What about unpleasant jobs like garbage collection?
Hamm- There will be no more garbage in the United States. The Department of the Environment banned garbage.
TP- You mentioned personal responsibility. How will the FREE card encourage responsible actions.
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. Each person must take the responsibility to apply for their own FREE Card. We will have federal workers soliciting the homeless and disadvantaged and of course we will advertise the FREE Card on television. Every attempt will be made to inform every person living in the United States of the FREE Card, but each individual must apply by phone, mail, internet or in person.
TP- I see. I notice you said every person in the United States. Does that include non-citizens?
Hamm- Of course. We would never discriminate against someone just because they were a citizen of another country.
TP- How will the FREE Card be financed?
Hamm- Oh, the usual way, through taxes, fees and bonds.
TP- Paid with the FREE Card?
Hamm- That’s right.
Exclusive interview with Congressman Hamlet Hamm
This Reporter (TP)- Congressman Hamm, can you explain why Congress banned money?
Hamm- Yes, having banned oil drilling, coal mining, big business, small business and banks, the congress decided to go to the root of the country’s problems and ban money.
TP- How will the money ban work?
Hamm- Work! It has nothing to do with work. It’s about fairness and personal responsibility.
TP- I mean how will it affect people?
Hamm- Oh, not at all. The dollar was worthless anyway.
TP- I see. How will it affect you personally?
Hamm- No problem. I always gave all my salary to charities.
TP- Charities, Sir?
Hamm- Yes, The Hamm Campaign Fund, The Hamm Retirement Fund, The Hamm Charitable Trust.
TP- How will working people be paid?
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. The federal government will issue every working person a Federal Reserve Entitlement Extension Card, a FREE Card.
TP- What about non-working people?
Hamm- They’ll get FREE Cards, too.
TP- Won’t people lose their incentive to work?
Hamm- Not at all! That’s the beauty of the plan. People will work because they want to, not because they have to. They will be able to pursue their dreams.
TP- Beautiful! What about unpleasant jobs like garbage collection?
Hamm- There will be no more garbage in the United States. The Department of the Environment banned garbage.
TP- You mentioned personal responsibility. How will the FREE card encourage responsible actions.
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. Each person must take the responsibility to apply for their own FREE Card. We will have federal workers soliciting the homeless and disadvantaged and of course we will advertise the FREE Card on television. Every attempt will be made to inform every person living in the United States of the FREE Card, but each individual must apply by phone, mail, internet or in person.
TP- I see. I notice you said every person in the United States. Does that include non-citizens?
Hamm- Of course. We would never discriminate against someone just because they were a citizen of another country.
TP- How will the FREE Card be financed?
Hamm- Oh, the usual way, through taxes, fees and bonds.
TP- Paid with the FREE Card?
Hamm- That’s right.
Terror on a Quiet Road
I pretend I’m the secretary of our local writers’ club and so far I have them fooled. I attended a meeting where one member mentioned that she found fiction writing challenging. I said it never challenged me, but I carry two inspiring little creatures on my shoulders. One is an angel and the other a devil. At least four other members said it was more like two devils. No, there’s an angel, too, but the devil is the better raconteur.
I thought about fiction writing as I drove home on the narrow back road through the Pocomoke Swamp. Tom Jones’ stentorian voice boomed from the CD player. Tall bare trees arched over the sylvan track. On either side of the road, still water reflected scurrying clouds and wind-whipped branches. Suddenly, a brilliant red Alfa Romeo passed, followed by two black Bentleys. One of the Bentleys pulled behind me; the other settled alongside. A loud crash and the rear window of the Alfa Romeo shattered. Bullet holes appeared across the trunk. I saw a man shooting from the passenger side of the Bentley beside me. I hoped they would pass, but they didn’t. I stomped on the gas, but they stayed even with me. With no place to turn, I could only keep driving. I heard a loud staccato roar above and saw a helicopter in my rear view mirror. It aimed and fired shots at the Bentleys. I looked ahead and saw a large farm truck loaded with chicken house manure. The driver, talking on a cell phone, drove obliviously towards us. I glanced to my right for a place to pull over and saw a herd of deer leaping from the woods into my path.
Fiction writing comes easy when you live an exciting life like mine.
I thought about fiction writing as I drove home on the narrow back road through the Pocomoke Swamp. Tom Jones’ stentorian voice boomed from the CD player. Tall bare trees arched over the sylvan track. On either side of the road, still water reflected scurrying clouds and wind-whipped branches. Suddenly, a brilliant red Alfa Romeo passed, followed by two black Bentleys. One of the Bentleys pulled behind me; the other settled alongside. A loud crash and the rear window of the Alfa Romeo shattered. Bullet holes appeared across the trunk. I saw a man shooting from the passenger side of the Bentley beside me. I hoped they would pass, but they didn’t. I stomped on the gas, but they stayed even with me. With no place to turn, I could only keep driving. I heard a loud staccato roar above and saw a helicopter in my rear view mirror. It aimed and fired shots at the Bentleys. I looked ahead and saw a large farm truck loaded with chicken house manure. The driver, talking on a cell phone, drove obliviously towards us. I glanced to my right for a place to pull over and saw a herd of deer leaping from the woods into my path.
Fiction writing comes easy when you live an exciting life like mine.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
KEEP OUT!
Keep Out!
I mentioned the Eastern Shore of Virginia (ESVA) in my last blog. I apologize to the citizens of ESVA who want to keep their heaven-on-earth a secret. Rumors that gas never goes above $2 a gallon on the ESVA are not true. It is true that isolated spots on the ESVA are still in 1960 or 1860. The Confederate flag ripples in the breeze, eight-year-old boys shoot deer instead of classmates and ninety-year-old men gather oysters in the marsh.
Depressing examples of rural poverty line the main roads to discourage intruders. Occasionally an amateur politician suggests seceding from the union. You won’t like living on the ESVA. As we say on the Eastern Shore, visit, leave your money and go home!
I mentioned the Eastern Shore of Virginia (ESVA) in my last blog. I apologize to the citizens of ESVA who want to keep their heaven-on-earth a secret. Rumors that gas never goes above $2 a gallon on the ESVA are not true. It is true that isolated spots on the ESVA are still in 1960 or 1860. The Confederate flag ripples in the breeze, eight-year-old boys shoot deer instead of classmates and ninety-year-old men gather oysters in the marsh.
Depressing examples of rural poverty line the main roads to discourage intruders. Occasionally an amateur politician suggests seceding from the union. You won’t like living on the ESVA. As we say on the Eastern Shore, visit, leave your money and go home!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Thinking about Animals or Save the Vegetables
Warning: This will probably offend you and you won’t read my blog anymore.
I confess I am an unrepentant meat-eating, heterosexual, who believes in constitutional government, individual rights and responsibilities. I realize that these are unpopular, repulsive habits and beliefs. People tell me to keep my opinions to myself, but I don’t and that makes me offensive. I read a blog by a vegetarian, homosexual, non-violent anarchist. Unlike me, she seems like a nice lady. She teaches at a college. I don’t have a college degree and therefore lack the education to understand other points of view. (Unmitigated humbug)
Most college graduates learn only the information required for their field of study. I’ve read that a lot of professors are leftist, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good teachers. Most have been educated in state schools and hired with tax dollars, so they must be knowledgeable.
Thinking about Animals
Animal rights proponents believe we shouldn’t kill animals of any kind, including birds and, sometimes, fish. They claim all creatures are equal. I disagree. Only humans can think and comprehend concepts like time and death. A human baby’s life should be saved before a kitten’s because a baby has the potential to think, among other reasons.
Thinking requires a language to think in. When animals appear to think, they either use a language incomprehensible to humans or they use instincts. Animals learn the meanings of some human words and actions, but that doesn’t mean animals think. People train horses to perform via cues, but horses don’t have a language. They cannot think, “My person asked me to trot.” They associate the cue with the action for which they have been rewarded.
Some claim their pets are as smart as humans. They probably are. Many humans don’t think, either. Some animal rightists keep dogs and cats. These animals require meat protein, which in commercial food comes from byproducts of meat and fish processing.
Our ancestors hunted and gathered before they farmed and raised grain. Meat is a natural food for people and healthier than the excessive refined carbohydrates we consume today. Man manufactures white flour and sugar. They aren’t found in nature. Animal rightists believe advanced civilizations should exist on vegetables and grains rather than meat. They theorize civilized people shouldn’t kill animals. Yet civilized people kill other humans.
Humans can kill livestock quickly and painlessly. Most livestock thrives on plants people can’t use, like grass, on land unsuitable for growing anything else. Many animal rightists are also extreme environmentalists who don’t like the idea of people in the world. To them, people harm the environment. On the other hand, people who believe in a creator believe humans are the ultimate creation.
Natural forces also destroy the environment and animal life. Humans are part of creation and should be responsible stewards of the earth. If we protected all animals from slaughter, domestic livestock could only be pets. Eventually cows, pigs and chickens would become endangered since raising them is too laborious and expensive to justify keeping them as pets. All fishing would end, too. Living on protein-poor, high carbohydrate diets, more people would succumb to diabetes and other carbohydrate related ills.
The idea of ending meat eating and creating chicken sanctuaries reminds me of an old hippie song. The farmer took some LSD and set all the chickens free. Animal rightists seem to be projecting their own feelings onto animals. Perhaps the animal rightists were abused in some way or indulge in hypersensitivity to emotions. They can’t seem to accept the unpleasant necessities of life, such as birth pains, illness and death. They seem disconnected from the natural world they worship, a world where people work on land and sea to produce essential protein.
I confess I am an unrepentant meat-eating, heterosexual, who believes in constitutional government, individual rights and responsibilities. I realize that these are unpopular, repulsive habits and beliefs. People tell me to keep my opinions to myself, but I don’t and that makes me offensive. I read a blog by a vegetarian, homosexual, non-violent anarchist. Unlike me, she seems like a nice lady. She teaches at a college. I don’t have a college degree and therefore lack the education to understand other points of view. (Unmitigated humbug)
Most college graduates learn only the information required for their field of study. I’ve read that a lot of professors are leftist, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good teachers. Most have been educated in state schools and hired with tax dollars, so they must be knowledgeable.
Thinking about Animals
Animal rights proponents believe we shouldn’t kill animals of any kind, including birds and, sometimes, fish. They claim all creatures are equal. I disagree. Only humans can think and comprehend concepts like time and death. A human baby’s life should be saved before a kitten’s because a baby has the potential to think, among other reasons.
Thinking requires a language to think in. When animals appear to think, they either use a language incomprehensible to humans or they use instincts. Animals learn the meanings of some human words and actions, but that doesn’t mean animals think. People train horses to perform via cues, but horses don’t have a language. They cannot think, “My person asked me to trot.” They associate the cue with the action for which they have been rewarded.
Some claim their pets are as smart as humans. They probably are. Many humans don’t think, either. Some animal rightists keep dogs and cats. These animals require meat protein, which in commercial food comes from byproducts of meat and fish processing.
Our ancestors hunted and gathered before they farmed and raised grain. Meat is a natural food for people and healthier than the excessive refined carbohydrates we consume today. Man manufactures white flour and sugar. They aren’t found in nature. Animal rightists believe advanced civilizations should exist on vegetables and grains rather than meat. They theorize civilized people shouldn’t kill animals. Yet civilized people kill other humans.
Humans can kill livestock quickly and painlessly. Most livestock thrives on plants people can’t use, like grass, on land unsuitable for growing anything else. Many animal rightists are also extreme environmentalists who don’t like the idea of people in the world. To them, people harm the environment. On the other hand, people who believe in a creator believe humans are the ultimate creation.
Natural forces also destroy the environment and animal life. Humans are part of creation and should be responsible stewards of the earth. If we protected all animals from slaughter, domestic livestock could only be pets. Eventually cows, pigs and chickens would become endangered since raising them is too laborious and expensive to justify keeping them as pets. All fishing would end, too. Living on protein-poor, high carbohydrate diets, more people would succumb to diabetes and other carbohydrate related ills.
The idea of ending meat eating and creating chicken sanctuaries reminds me of an old hippie song. The farmer took some LSD and set all the chickens free. Animal rightists seem to be projecting their own feelings onto animals. Perhaps the animal rightists were abused in some way or indulge in hypersensitivity to emotions. They can’t seem to accept the unpleasant necessities of life, such as birth pains, illness and death. They seem disconnected from the natural world they worship, a world where people work on land and sea to produce essential protein.
Monday, February 2, 2009
For Insomniacs, acrylic painting
You may have noticed that my paintings don't illustrate my writing. I have a hundred or so paintings I want to resize and post. I add them when I have time.
Naked hands banned from oystering
Two Chesapeake Bay fishermen found oysters growing in a marsh and picked up eight bushels. A MD marine police officer saw them and said, "You can't do that."
"We have a license," one of the fishermen replied.
"You didn't use tongs. You aren't allowed to harvest oysters with your hands," the officer replied. He gave them a verbal warning.
One of the fishermen objected. "I want a paper citation so I can take this to court! Any judge would throw it out."
My book, Wet and Hungry, contains many ridiculous incidents like this. I have added an excellent commercial fishing website and a site where readers may purchase my book at the bottom of this blog site.
I thought I added them, but they haven't shown up. The sites are www.commercial-fishing.org and www.authorsbookshop.com, this site gives me a larger percentage on my book sales than other on-line book stores.
"We have a license," one of the fishermen replied.
"You didn't use tongs. You aren't allowed to harvest oysters with your hands," the officer replied. He gave them a verbal warning.
One of the fishermen objected. "I want a paper citation so I can take this to court! Any judge would throw it out."
My book, Wet and Hungry, contains many ridiculous incidents like this. I have added an excellent commercial fishing website and a site where readers may purchase my book at the bottom of this blog site.
I thought I added them, but they haven't shown up. The sites are www.commercial-fishing.org and www.authorsbookshop.com, this site gives me a larger percentage on my book sales than other on-line book stores.
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