Congress Bans Money

Congress Bans Money
Exclusive interview with Congressman Hamlet Hamm
This Reporter (TP)- Congressman Hamm, can you explain why Congress banned money?
Hamm- Yes, having banned oil drilling, coal mining, big business, small business and banks, the congress decided to go to the root of the country’s problems and ban money.
TP- How will the money ban work?
Hamm- Work! It has nothing to do with work. It’s about fairness and personal responsibility.
TP- I mean how will it affect people?
Hamm- Oh, not at all. The dollar was worthless anyway.
TP- I see. How will it affect you personally?
Hamm- No problem. I always gave all my salary to charities.
TP- Charities, Sir?
Hamm- Yes, The Hamm Campaign Fund, The Hamm Retirement Fund, The Hamm Charitable Trust.
TP- How will working people be paid?
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. The federal government will issue every working person a Federal Reserve Entitlement Extension Card, a FREE Card.
TP- What about non-working people?
Hamm- They’ll get FREE Cards, too.
TP- Won’t people lose their incentive to work?
Hamm- Not at all! That’s the beauty of the plan. People will work because they want to, not because they have to. They will be able to pursue their dreams.
TP- Beautiful! What about unpleasant jobs like garbage collection?
Hamm- There will be no more garbage in the United States. The Department of the Environment banned garbage.
TP- You mentioned personal responsibility. How will the FREE card encourage responsible actions.
Hamm- I’m glad you asked. Each person must take the responsibility to apply for their own FREE Card. We will have federal workers soliciting the homeless and disadvantaged and of course we will advertise the FREE Card on television. Every attempt will be made to inform every person living in the United States of the FREE Card, but each individual must apply by phone, mail, internet or in person.
TP- I see. I notice you said every person in the United States. Does that include non-citizens?
Hamm- Of course. We would never discriminate against someone just because they were a citizen of another country.
TP- How will the FREE Card be financed?
Hamm- Oh, the usual way, through taxes, fees and bonds.
TP- Paid with the FREE Card?
Hamm- That’s right.